The Five-Step: first aid for irritation and anger
The Five-Step: First Aid for Irritation and Anger
Whether it's your neighbor, partner, child, or someone at work, there are always people who know how to get under your skin. And no matter how understanding or 'spiritual' you want to be, when you are triggered, you become entangled in emotions. What are they thinking??! The Five-Step is a forgiveness process based on A Course in Miracles, where you first vent your heart and then lovingly look at what lies beneath – within you.
Hitting a Nerve
When someone kicks you where it hurts, it initially seems obvious that it's the other person's fault. However, what is actually being touched is a sore spot within YOU, a sore spot whose roots often go back a long way. Only by following the path back through time can the wound beneath be truly felt and healed.
Purpose of the Five-Step
The goal of this forgiveness process is to uncover the origin of false, fear-based beliefs within yourself, so that you can let them go and replace them with the deeper truth about you. In terms of A Course in Miracles, the Five-Step allows you to openly show the content of your fear-based ego thought system to a willing other, so that old beliefs can melt away in the light of truth. Your ego may not always like this and can resist it. Therefore, it is important to follow the steps of the Five-Step very precisely; otherwise, you can easily get lost in various stories and interpretations without getting to the core.
The Healing
In this forgiveness process, you will first express your irritation or anger towards the other person uncensored to blow off steam. You address the witness, who temporarily takes the place of the person who triggered you. Don't be polite, don't hold back – by venting your heart, you create space to go to a deeper layer and feel what lies beneath.
With the guidance of an experienced witness, the Five-Step can be a very powerful tool for transformation. Ideally, the result is an energetic shift that brings a sense of relief, relaxation, and peace within yourself. The 'charge' that the behavior or situation has for you becomes lighter. As a result, something often changes in the situation itself or in the contact you have with that person – sometimes in very surprising ways.
Guidance
As you become more familiar with this forgiveness process, you can also do the Five-Step individually for lighter irritations, acting as your own witness. However, for more intense situations, guidance from an experienced witness opposite you is essential – this form of liberation is not available separately!
Would you like to try this for yourself? Download the Five-Step here (one A4 sheet).
You can find experienced facilitators of the Five-Step on the ICU website under Coaches.
In our basic workshop "The Liberation," you will learn to work with the Five-Step yourself.
And finally: being triggered is human. Be gentle with yourself!
