Who you are doesn’t matter!

We have written a little about this before and now there’s more! Robert Holden is one of my favourite authors that uses the Course as a foundation for his work on happiness and lovability. He once said something that hit home for me which was “the Course is a personal love letter from God to each of us”.

When we forget how valuable and powerful we are, we are reminded “Your true identity is so secure, so lofty, sinless, glorious and great, wholly beneficent and free from guilt that heaven looks upon it to give it light… This is reality ,and only this . This is illusions’ end, it is the Truth.

When we focus on trying to understand “who” we are we get trapped into thoughts that leave us vulnerable for self-attack. The attempts to define our personal identity that causes pain because somehow, we can never be good enough in our own eyes. 

Think about this for a moment, how would you prefer to define yourself and your value:

• Innocent no matter what, or the job you have, what you do for a living
• Magnificent, or the role you play as parent, daughter, son, brother, sister?
• The manifestation of love, or how much money you have or do not have?
• Light, or how attractive or unattractive you perceive your body to be?
• Truth, or the relationships you have or don’t have?
• One with all there is, or separate and alone needing to defend and control ?

Robert Holden’s description of the Course as “a personal love letter from God to each of us” captures the radical tenderness at the heart of this teaching. Beneath all the roles, stories and judgments we accumulate positive or negative,, there is an unchanging core that is loved unconditionally. When we remember that our true identity is “secure, lofty, sinless, glorious,” it reframes every failure, fear and comparison as a temporary misperception rather than a verdict on our worth. The pain that arises from self-attack usually comes from mistaking the fragile personal narrative—our job, relationships, appearance, or bank balance—for who we fundamentally are. Once we stop searching for identity in these shifting external things, the anxiety of proving ourselves or defending a fragile self begins to lose its grip.

Practically, this shift to choosing to see our true selves asks for gentle reorientation. Practice noticing when you define yourself by circumstance and consciously bring attention back to the steady sense of being that isn’t earned or lost. That doesn’t mean denying everyday responsibilities or emotions, but it does mean holding them lightly rather than letting them determine your value. Choosing to identify as “innocent, magnificent, love, light, truth, one with all” is less a claim of perfection than a reminder of an underlying reality you can return to in moments of doubt. Over time, that reminder softens self-criticism, invites compassion, and makes the small ups and downs of life feel less like threats and more like passing weather.

Simple advice but not easy when we are faced with our day-to-day dilemmas and challenges, our ups and downs, self-doubts and accomplishments. But one thing I do know from my own experience in life – I like the idea of being loved and accepted because of what I am. Not dependent on external factors to define me or make me happy.

With love

Jane